I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
