i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
