dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He felt like a one man threesome
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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