halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
