also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
