jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i've created a new STD.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize