oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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