im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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