I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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