i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
we're so committed to being not committed
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
