Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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