You're so nebulous sometimes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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