Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
