even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
