Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
