Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
