Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
