She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
