Me too!
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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