Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Who died my cat blue again?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
