mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
