it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
