Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
