I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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