i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
