so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
