A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
