He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
