is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize