I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
