is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dear god my vagina.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize