every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it's like heaven, but drunker
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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