just come out here and I will go home with you...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
