her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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