hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize