school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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