is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
