I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize