Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm really busy with my period
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