Plan B is the new Plan A
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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