I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
