If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize