the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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