benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
