He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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