the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
