so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
