No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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