Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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