i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
