Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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