You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
