everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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