O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
