I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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