put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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