Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
