You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
