Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
