Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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